Outlandish Predictions III: Premier League 2012/13 Final Table

I made this prediction on 14/08/2012. See you in May.

1.     Man United

2.     Man City

3.     Chelsea

4.     Arsenal

5.     Liverpool

6.     Newcastle

7.     Spurs

8.     Everton

9.     Fulham

10.  Sunderland

11.  Aston Villa

12.  West Ham

13.  QPR

14.  Reading

15.  Swansea

16.  Stoke

17.  Wigan

18.  West Brom

19.  Southampton

20.  Norwich

Aguero top scorer

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Outlandish Predictions II

Weather Forecast 2012/13

CHRISTMAS 2012

Dull and unremarkable.

JANUARY-FEBRUARY

Bitterly cold. Some snow in most areas but will never settle in Cardiff.

MARCH-APRIL

Wally with a Brolly.

APRIL-MAY

Its revision and exam time, which is a guarantee for sunshine and warm temperatures.

JUNE-AUGUST

What ever they predict, expect the opposite.

SEPTEMBER

There will be 7 days of warm sunshine. Mark my words.

Outlandish Predictions: Season I

From time to time I will make outlandish predictions for a bit of fun. The coming months offer a sumptuous selection of silly and serious subjects with which to scrutinise psychic skills.

US Presidential Election

It is worthwhile to remember that the outcome of this election affects all seven billion of us on planet Earth. The fight for the title of Heavyweight Champion of the Political World is fought every five years. The Republican challenger is a guy who thinks that America is a business and not a country. The current President is the best thing since stringed sausages.

If the widely mooted notion that elections can be bought was true, then Mitt the Money would be nailed on for victory. Thankfully, some very reliable studies have shown that money doesn’t create but follows winners. Therefore, there will be enough Americans with their heads screwed on to bring it home for Barack I believe.

OP: Obama Re-elected

Strictly Come Dancing

Bruce Forsyth will be celebrating his 72nd year in show business with a jittering, jolting jive reminiscent of a death row-er jerking around in an electric chair, spraying an throthing spit all over Tess Daly as he speaks. I couldn’t give a flying pirouette about the dancing. Housewives favourite to win.

OP: The Westlife bloke will wing it to victory. Louis Smith on the podium.

White Christmas?

Sssssss… NO.

OP: No. Wind and drizzle. 6*C.

BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2012

OP: Wiggs-a-winner

Transfer Deadline Day Deals: My Verdict

Transfer Deadline Day

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

The sound of Big Ben’s bongs and Jim White climaxing on our TV screens, it can only mean one thing, the transfer deadline has just passed. I’d like to share with you my run down on the winners and losers of this TDD.

TDD Stars 

Dimitar Berbatov Man Utd to Fulham £4,000,000

Berba Bargin

The Premier League Golden Boot winner of 2010/11 is an almighty signing for a club of Fulham’s stature. Berba is a underrated force and unfairly labelled a flop at United. His 2.66 games per goal in all competitions for the Red Devils was not a bad ratio at all. It was his failure to net in Champions League matches which ultimately cost him his United career. Martin Jol knows exactly what he is getting as he oversaw the Bulgarians rise to Premier League prominence at Spurs. Berbs decision to turn down Champions League football at Italian champions Juventus is a clear indication of his belief in Jol to get the best out of him. His style of play means that even at 31 years old, Fulham will get a few years of footballing genius from Berbatov.

Verdict: 10/10

Pablo Hernandez Valencia to Swansea £5,550,000

Swansamarda

This transfer is representative of all of Michael Laudrup’s dealings at Swansea this summer. He has successfully taken advantage of the financial paralysis that has hit Spanish football, recruiting the likes of Michu, Chico Flores and de Guzman. In doing so, the great Dane has managed to replace stalwarts Joe Allen and Scott Sinclair with just a fraction of the revenue raised from their sales. I find it amazing that no other Premier League managers have snagged onto this opportunity to raid a league brimming with quality footballers  at more than reasonable prices. I believe exploiting this economic disparity between the worlds top two leagues is a master stroke. Hernandez is dedicating his prime years to the south Wales’ club and he will more than fill the gap on the Swans flank left by Sinclair.

Verdict: 8/10

Hugo Lloris Lyon to Spurs £8,000,000

There Hugo

Many people may question the logic of bringing Lloris to White Heart Lane at a time when they have Brad Friedel turning out top class performances. To them I would say take a step back and you will see that Spurs have pulled off a marvellous piece of business. Consider the current market price for talented young keepers, with David de Gea costing Manchester United a cool £17 million and the inexperienced Jack Butland’s rumoured price tag of £9 million, and it is clear the French national captain is a snip at £8 million. Th 25 year old arrives with a wealth of international and Champions League experience to north London. Lloris will break into the team sooner or later, and over time, will prove to be a quality act in the Premiership.

Verdict: 9/10

*A hat tip to Moyes and Lambert on their shrewd moves this TDD.

TDD Stinkers

Clint Dempsey Fulham to Tottenham Hotspur (not Liverpool) £6,000,000

Liverpool: Down in the Demps

The biggest stink on TDD was a deal that crashed and burned, namely Liverpool’s failure to capture Clint Dempsey. The American international had made it clear he wanted to make the move to Merseyside, but Fulham were keen to get a fair price for a player who excelled last season. With only a year to run on his contract, a valuation of £6 million for the midfielder was more than reasonable and appeared to be great business for Liverpool. However, they were reluctant to meet this, offering just £4 million. As the clock ticked down and by the time Spurs made their move, the Reds’ top men had packed up and gone home. The absence of any appetite to splash an extra £2 million on a player Brendan Rodgers trailed all summer has left many onlookers scratching their heads.  The team’s primary short coming in the previous campaign was scoring goals. Following the departure of Andy Carroll and Nathan Ecclestone, just two recognised strikers remain on the books at Anfield. Missing out on bringing in a free scoring midfielder, who netted more times than Luis Suarez last season, could be a catastrophic error that Rodgers is left to rue.

Verdict: 1/10

Scott Sinclair Swansea City to Manchester City £8,000,000

Sin Bin: What a load of rubbish

Roberto Mancini has best sulking all summer about the lack of activity at city, so he will be delighted with the positive outcome of this will-he-wont-he transfer saga. Sinclair comes into the champions squad as a replacement for Adam Johnson. Like the former Middlesbrough man before him, he will arrive with ambitions to establish himself in the first team, but these hopes and dreams will inevitably be suffocated by frustration from lack of opportunities. He will lose momentum and wind up being moved on in two or three windows time. Not that Mancini will care.

Verdict: 3/10

Danny Rose Spurs to Sunderland on loan

Danny boy: One hit wonder

It is fair to say I am not the biggest fan of Danny Rose. He appears to be building a career around his first ever kick in professional football. I will take my cynical hat of for a moment, if only to put the boot in with the cold hard fact that he struggled to make any kind of impact on loan in the Championship. I witnessed his incompetency first hand this summer watching Team GB, and even if O’Neil can get the best out of him, I can only see him struggling to progress at the Black Cats.

Verdict: 3/10

*Other stink bombs include Mark Hughes and Nigel Adkins

Roll on May 2013 for the verdict.. on my verdict.